I don't attend church as much as I should.And,today was the first time in years that I had been inside a Baptist church.It did do me alot of good,and it was probably much needed.I know that it is good for my daughter to see me in church,her going with my mother is not the same.In that regard,I have set a poor example and failed as a parent.That is something I strive to succeed at,not a shortcoming I'll be bragging about.But as we approach Easter,today's sermon did make me ponder what our lives as Christians should be.
I'm a little bit of a history geek(sorry ladies),and have always been facinated by the early church.They met in secret,in dark caves,under threats of death just to commune.To talk to those of a like mind about their beliefs.And,they were enormously happy......HAPPY.
I'm going to bore you with some history...............Christianity took a toehold in the Roman Empire long before Constantine had his vision of the cross.It took place in the the colloseum.After Rome burned and Nero blamed the Christians for it,it became hugely popular to throw them to the lions.Funny thing happened,they smiled and welcomed it.The citizens of Rome wondered,"what does this person know that I don't?How is that condemned man happier than I?".So they asked,and they learned and an outlawed religion became the official religion of the largest empire on earth.
What strikes me today is how many Christians look so unhappy.Talk unhappy.Promise days ahead of more unhappiness.Doesn't God want us to be happy?Wouldn't that be our goal?So I wonder,shouldn't we project happiness.Because if we're not offering anything they don't already have,then what are we really offering?
Just pondering.

I HATE.It's wrong,but I hate.I hate people I don't understand,I hate that my body is falling apart at 38,I hate the current direction of our country,I hate ignorance,I hate my daughter is growing up in a world I can't comprehend,I hate phone calls,I hate healthy food,I hate sunshine on a work day,I hate reality television,I hate being lied to,I hate the smell of warm milk,I hate tears,I hate weakness,I hate that I am so very weak myself,I hate being at anyone's mercy,I hate that I hate,I hate.....................
I honestly can't even love without hate.I love my friends,I hate that I'm not better to them.I love sunny afternoons,I hate that I don't do more with them.I love going out,I hate going home.I love Christmas,I hate shopping.I love to cook,I hate washing dishes.I love my child,I HATE that she's growing up.
I can find the yang to any ying.And,that's the problem.If you dig deep enough,you'll find fault with anything.I see the cancer behind the healthiest skin.Why can't I,we,live in the now?Why can't we enjoy our most base needs without dissecting every small if,and or but?Why in the hell can I not get through lunch without worrying about what's for supper?When tomorrow is today,will I be complaining about what I didn't do yesterday?Probably.
That's my rant for today,it ain't pretty.It is what it is.It's bleak and probably not too entertaining.......................................I hate that.

I love Spring.It offers hope.A new beginning,amnesty for all your stupid,petty transgressions.A "get out of jail free" card for those of us stupid enough to think we are going to finally live up to our potential.We dreamers call it 'the equinox of broken promises and empty beer cans'.In eastern Europe it's known as 'The Yearly Yearning for Closeness to Western Women'.I love me some Spring.



Baseball season will be starting soon,Give 'em Hell BoSox.It's kids playing outside again,normal behavior[remember that].I'll remind you ladies that it's shorts and sandals season,SSS loves legs and feet.Love,like pollen,is in the air.Grass cutting,porch sitting,beer drinking,sun loving,golf playing,steak grilling Spring.They don't make a better time of year.

Today I cut all my old jeans into shorts,I'm rednecked up.I pitched ball with my daughter.I watched March Madness(no. 3 in my pool).I actually complained about gnats,a sure sign that my season is here.I watched the race in the garage,door up and cold beer in hand.They are rare but today was one of those perfect days.{a note to all readers;I did not make it to church,although I intend on doing so next Sunday.Pray the rapture holds another six days.}
Tonight I cooked steaks on the grill,perfect as always.I am content.I hope you all had as good a day as me,and Happy Spring.

I don't know why I'm doing this and I doubt anyone will read it,but I need an outlet to vent and a good friend suggested this to me.I am the prototypical angry white male;prideful,loud,loyal,opinionated,childish and hopeful.I am 38 years old,I am not much to look at,I am a chronic underachiever and I always leave the seat up.......ALWAYS.I am on time,always.I never meet a stranger.I love kids,until they become people{people suck}.I have never been a good loser and I don't intend on learning how to become one.I despise weakness and dependance.I'm a real sweetheart..............

This blog is and will be about nothing.Disconnected rants of a daily life filled with mundane and obscure[as well as painfully apparant] observations.I have no template for this and will follow no pattern.I tend to ramble about nothing in great detail.I relay vivid accounts of dull happenings that interest noone.Later,I will lose track of my thoughts and relive glory days of high school that may or may not involve alcahol and semi-clad women.Later,I will describe,in great detail,a trivial bit of knowledge lost to all but the ancient Macedonians and myself.Still later,I will discuss the inner workings of poorly made Austrian watches{they're not the Swiss ya know}.

I love being in a small crowd.I love the beach.I love cold beer with good friends.I don't care much for a sunset but I dig a sunrise.I value freedom above security and I know that God judges me in accordance to what is in my heart,which he knows more than me.I am not complete,but I am content.

L-I-V-I-N

SSS